Here's the planned release schedule for the Throttles. Please don't share this with anyone. It is top-secret insider information I got from a contact deep within the Columbia ranks:
(All dates are for 2004)
jan 01: Throttle-RB (for "real bad" lane conditions. Advertising angle: This will work great as long as you think the lane conditions are "real bad")
jan 19: Throttle-MLK (special "Martin Luther King" rememberance throttle. Advertising/money making angle: great reaction for big games, but but dies too soon. Buyers will need another new throttle soon after purchasing this one)
jan 31: Throttle-EOM (Throttle "end of month". Advertising angle: for those of you who missed the Throttle-RB at the beginning of the month and can't find it in pro shops any more because it is now discontinued)
feb 2: Throttle-Groundhog (Advertising angle: If it sees any oil, you get strikes for the next six frames)
feb 4: Trottle-2x4 (Wood-grain color, the new "2x4". Advertising angle: hits like a two-by-four)
feb 29: Throttle-Leap (The throttle leap year. Adverstising angle: This ball guarantees a 300 every four years or your money bac... er wait...or you can buy the next throttle)
march 17: Throttle-Lucky (Green for saint patrick's day. Advertising angle: makes sure you carry all of those lucky strikes)
march 18: Throttle-Hangover (Ochre in color. Advertising angle: More turn for those of you too weak to generate adequate revs due to your St. Patty's day hangover)
march 21: Trottle-WTF (Otherwise it would be a slow month for ball releases. Advertising angle: none, it's new, they'll buy it)
april 1: Throttle-Gold (Gold flecked ball. Advertising angle: Find the strike "pot of gold" at the end of the rainbow. April fools, it doesn't work!)
april 2: Trottle-4x2 (The awesome "4x2". Advertising angle: Exact opposite reaction you get from the "2x4" or the "retro 2x4")
april 4: Throttle-4x4 (Advertising angle: For those of you who need more "hitting power" than the 2x4 or 4x2. "hitting power" always sells)
april 5: Throttle-4BTW ("Fourth ball this week". Advertising angle: Flood the market with new balls this week and draw attention to our company)
april 21: Throttle-Choke (Advertising angle: A slightly straighter throttle to throw on the lanes you've chewed up with all the other throttles)
may 1: Throttle-Classic (Advertising angle: The first throttle came out only 6-7 months ago and they won't be able to find any in pro shops, let's re-sell the old garbage that has been collecting dust in our warehouses)
may 1: Throttle-May-Day (Advertising angle: Having problems with the lanes... going down?....)
may 3: Throttle-MOM (Advertising angle: just in time for mother's day)
may 15: Throttle-Toddler (Advertising angle: Our strongest ball ever - now your 3-year old can play the 25 board out to the three board and get a good snap back to the pocket at 45 feet)
I could not pry release dates out of my contact beyond may 15th, sorry gang. I'll keep trying
(side note - no political stance or opinion intended on the Throttle-MLK)
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(c) Copied Right! 2003 Knarly Stuff Inc.