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Author Topic: Bowling Balls of the Future???  (Read 1061 times)

BrooklynSlop

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Bowling Balls of the Future???
« on: November 23, 2005, 01:51:06 PM »
The Thanksgiving holiday has always made me contemplate about the future. This may sound silly to some of you, but during this time I am somehow endowed with a certain psychic ability to predict the future. As I sit at my computer tonight reviewing some of the top-of-the-line balls from all the major brands, this endowed premenition kicked in and I was able to see the future... The bowling balls of tomorrow. I will share it with you... but I warn you: Knowing the future can be a tricky rub...

The Bowling Balls of Tomorrow:

Storm Super Duper Quadruple X-Factor Triple Redundancy Xtreme Deuce: RELOADED!! (Fragrance: Vomit)
AMF Maximum Terminal Cancer
Ebonite XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXel
Dyno-Thane Vendetta Soft-Solid Xtra Xtra Dry
Columbia POS T-4
Track Xception 97.5 FM (Today's Hits, Yesterday's Favorites!)
Track Xception Captains Log Stardate 26743.1
Brunswick Erogenous Zone
Hammer Big Brown Turd and Big Brown Turd Spare
Elite PBA THS (For those ever-so predictable conditions)
Columbia Flipside Chronic Arthritis
Storm Eraser Whining Donkey (Fragrance: Poo)
Lane #1 Buzzsaw Contusion on my Slide Foot
MoRich Stuffed Taco Supreme
Roto-Grip Poop Streak Solid
Track Heat Rash (Followed up by it's counter-part, the Track Heat Stroke)
Visionary Janet Reno Gargoyle-Faced Gargantuan
Hammer Small Block Propane
AMF Nighthawk Solid, Reactive, Pearl, Particle, Sanded, (So you can get through your 3-game set) Medicine
LaneMasters Painfully Impacted Molars
Ebonite The Two
Lane #1 Super Carbide Buzzsaw Butt-Nugget Bomb
Brunswick Monster Mash/R
Columbia Big Fat Ugly "You gave that monster tree-fiddy??" Bully
Track Mechano-Rule Sigma B.S. 8
Hammer Hawg My Corn Hole
Roto-Grip Poop Streak Particles
Storm Fired Employee (Fragrance: Dissapointment By Calvin Klien)
Ebonite The "Other" One
Brunswick Disco Inferno
Columbia Scenic Sunday Drive
Dyno-Thane The Thing in my Toilet Smells Funny
Ebonite V2 Repetatively Dry
Elite [Insert Random Letter and Numbers Here]
Hammer Ceiling Fan Blade
Lane #1 Palestinian Suicide Bomb
LaneMasters Woah Baby Not So Much Teeth
MoRich Weapon of Mass Destruction (No, really, I swear they have them!!)
Visionary Froto Baggans Hobbit-Killing Warlock Centaur Gargoyle AMB Solid
Storm X-Factor Polio (Fragrance: FDR's Legs)

Do any of you have these preminitions? If so, I'd like to see your visions... Visions of the future.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.


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Bryant

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2005, 09:54:51 PM »
Lol. Nice post

(Cant wait for that Elite PBA THS. I'm guessing $200-300 )
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Speedburner89

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2005, 09:56:12 PM »
quote:
Visionary Froto Baggans Hobbit-Killing Warlock Centaur Gargoyle AMB Solid


ok, now you're just stringing words together
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TJ for Prez
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Bryant

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2005, 09:59:08 PM »
Lane 1: E=MC^2
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BrooklynSlop

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2005, 10:09:49 PM »
quote:
Lol. Nice post

(Cant wait for that Elite PBA THS. I'm guessing $200-300 )


He he he!!
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Slopsurprise

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2005, 10:46:22 PM »
quote:
Columbia Epoxy 23. 5 minute cure.    Strange lane condition, just whip out a ball in 5 minutes.  Comes with your own grinder for grinding the particles to your own favorite grit.

Columbia Playground Bully.    Maximum size, more ugly than a EPX

Ebonite The One and Only.   Only works on one condition.   The challenge is to find the condition

Hammer Hog Wild   Comes with two packets of fine white substance.

Brunswick   The Infernal Twilight Zone.  When you try to use this one, you find yourself hearing strange music

Track   The Machine.  Comes with it's own battery powered starter.  Aim, Push the button

Lanemaster    The Snowcat.    The bestest, by golly wonderfull, gotta have it ball for bowling in the snow.   Has tungsten carbide studs for maximum traction.  Really shines on ice.    

AMF   Absolute MF   Throw this ball at your risk

Storm XXX     Comes in pink with hairline crack

Circle    The Hardcore Hero     A full 8.55 inches in diameter

Elite     Mudbug     Good for those slop conditions




ROTFLMAO!!!!!

"Columbia Playground Bully.    Maximum size, more ugly than a EPX"

That priceless bro!!!!
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Hey, it might be slop but, it all looks the same on the scorecard!!!!!
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bigearv14

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2005, 04:19:10 AM »
quote:

LaneMasters Woah Baby Not So Much Teeth


He didn't just say that, did he??? I think he did, OMG!!!! For the men who have received the brutal oral assault from those who are supposed to love us the most!!! Kudos!!!
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BrooklynSlop

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2005, 06:28:05 AM »
quote:
quote:

LaneMasters Woah Baby Not So Much Teeth


He didn't just say that, did he??? I think he did, OMG!!!! For the men who have received the brutal oral assault from those who are supposed to love us the most!!! Kudos!!!


Indeed.
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BrooklynSlop

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2005, 01:22:22 PM »
Also see my premenitions posted identically with additional replies in the Misc. Forum:

http://www.ballreviews.com/Forum/Replies.asp?TopicID=105300&ForumID=16&CategoryID=5

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!
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BrooklynSlop

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2005, 10:16:23 PM »
Mmmmmmmmmmm.... Turkey.....
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BrooklynSlop

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #10 on: November 28, 2005, 09:04:49 PM »
Just in case people didn't see this over Thanksgiving weekend...
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9andaWiggle

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #11 on: November 29, 2005, 11:12:14 AM »
quote:
Storm's XY Factor (cross gender ball)
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Keep looking... I'm sure there's a 300 in one of those balls you keep buying!!


And don't forget the "KY Factor" for dryer conditions!


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9~

Why Does Everybody Wanna Kick My Ass?

Proud Member of Mr. Merkin's Sales Staff
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Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep...

I wonder where they went? ;)

BrooklynSlop

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #12 on: November 29, 2005, 09:16:10 PM »
quote:

Brunswick Auto Zone
Brunswick Dante's Inferno
Columbia Backdoor Bully
Dyno-Thane Wip Out You Thing
Ebonite The Big One
Ebonite Not This One
Elite PBA Polyester. List Price 349.99
Hammer Boss Hawg
Hammer Small Block Chevy
Lane 1 Uranium Poisioning
Lane 1 Fat Man
Lane 1 Little Boy
LaneMasters The Low Standard (Ugly Ball)
Morich Shock and AWWWWWWWWWWW CRAP!!!
Roto Grip Stupid Streaker at a Football Game
Roto Grip Epic Climax after hours of wild....blank
Storm X-Factor is less than or equal to the Infernos (Fragerence: Onions)
Storm Big Shhh It. (Fragrence: Poo)
Storm Broken Down Hot Rod (fragrence: Burning Oil)
Storm Guilty as CHARGED (Fragrence: Justice)
Storm Hot and Bothered (fragrence: Sex)



HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! That's great!!!!! I guess I may have missed a few.
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slowmofo908

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #13 on: November 29, 2005, 09:31:08 PM »
you know you are a nerd when you are cracking up at these and your boss is looking at you like wtf



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dirty jerz
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BrooklynSlop

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Re: Bowling Balls of the Future???
« Reply #14 on: December 01, 2005, 06:15:04 PM »
quote:
you know you are a nerd when you are cracking up at these and your boss is looking at you like wtf



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dirty jerz


LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I was cracking up when I was writing it and my wife gave me the same look.
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