I know the caught in the middle feeling. I quit bowling tournaments some years ago. I am generally pretty consistent wherever I go, on whatever conditions. Averaged in mid-200's in league. Could do that or a little better in tournaments. Handicapped tournaments I had no chance. Unless conditions were very difficult in scratch tournaments and 50 to 100 over would qualify, again had no chance against competitors averaging 230 +. In either case I would have needed to average in the 230's and I can't do that for the number of games it required to be competitive.
Back when there were enough bowlers in tournaments to have stratified squads with no handicap within squads (e.g. Open for 215 or higher averages, 190 - 214 Class A, 170 - 189 Class B, 169 & Below, Class C.) I could compete well. I won all events in the Houston City tournament Class A division back in the day and there were about 400 in that division. Today, its tough to find a tournament with even half that number of total entries.
I still go to Nats, though. I usually am high all events on our two teams because i am consistent, keep the ball in play and make spares. Its fun to watch the 220 + THS bowlers have a 490 team, 680 doubles, 510 singles type tournament, or the first time house hot shots have sub 1500 AE as they find they can't spray n' pray and the guy with the most revs is not the guy who scores.
I have always been caught in the middle like some of you. Average 205-210, can't keep up with the 180+handicap, and can't keep up with the 220+. Unless you really want to devote your life to being that 220-230 bowler, we will never be that and i realized this a year or two ago.
Now i bowl 2 nights a week. No practice. Just bowl. I go to nats every year for fun and maybe get hot for a stretch. And now this year without all the expectations i am at 218. I don't know what the hell is happening. I am more consistent and having more fun.