Author Topic: biggest mistake I made in bowling (Read 3956 times)

ocbowler · « **on:** June 17, 2009, 02:43:45 PM »

Technical error? No. Mental mistake? Yes!

I bowl in 2 leagues at the same house. In 1 league I average 215 and the other a miserable 194.

The difference? The first league is more of a "money" league that would end up with a much bigger pot for the sweep. About half of the bowlers have a 205 or better average. I have to put my mind in every shot( just don't want to look bad, lol!)

The second league I have my darling wife on my team( made this "mistake" of asking her a year ago). She's petite and can only use a 10 lb. ball with no core. What's worse is that she has no talent and would "never" practice. Weight or strength training? are you kidding? Lol! She wouldn't even go through the approach motion at home( with a 5 lb. dumbbell) to improve her timing. She can seldom repeat her shot.

But the worst is after she misses she would complain that the ball would not hook; ball has no power; lane is no good; etc; etc. I have tried to coach her for the last few years but now ready to give up. It's pretty frustrating going through games of 95, 103 with her after she's been bowling for 3-4 years.

I cannot blame her for wanting to have some fun and to spend some "quality" time with me. I just have to train myself not to be that emotional in order to help my game and consequently my team..........

blacknois · « **Reply #1 on:** June 17, 2009, 10:48:54 PM »

try and get someone else to give her pointers, its a proven fact that wives/girlfriends will not listen to their significant others when it comes to coaching in anything

icewall · « **Reply #2 on:** June 18, 2009, 04:18:13 AM »

i agree. i learned a very important lesson when it comes to people close to you. they dont want to be coached by you! lol

if they hear it from you they might think "thanks I know what your saying but its not working OR yea yea yea whatever"

if they hear it from a qualified person they will think, hey they are the expert I better do what they say.

my advice:

enjoy the time with her and forget about winning. I think its nice that you have someone who comes out to bowl with you.

joegunn · « **Reply #3 on:** June 18, 2009, 06:39:59 AM »

I bowled with my wife for a few years. Same deal. 10 pound ball, pick it up and go, average in the low 100's. I finally realized, not everyone is obsessed with bowling well, and therefore, do not want advice on how to improve. The enjoyment for them comes from the social aspect, talking to people and not worrying about their scores. As I get older, I finally figured out she had the right idea all along.

goose194 · « **Reply #4 on:** June 18, 2009, 07:27:04 AM »

I agree with the first comment, have someone else give her advice.

When I give my wife advice she looks at me and gives me that (your and idiot but I love you) chuckle...someone else gives her THE SAME ADVICE and they're a guinness.
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Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Phoneman · « **Reply #5 on:** June 18, 2009, 07:33:25 AM »

I have been bowling with my wife for the entire time we have been married (14 years). she took a 4 year break when the kids were very young. I also bowl with my 66 year old mother on the same team. It actually helps to bring the duct tape with me some nights to put over my own mouth. There are some nights that you cant even be encouraging without one of them (both average around 145) ending up in tears over me trying to be encouraging. Hears is what I have learned...On those nights it is not about winning or losing. It is about learning to bowl with all sorts of distractions. Enjoy the time with your wife. when she is frustrated just put that duct tape over your mouth and get someone else to help her.

LuckyLefty · « **Reply #6 on:** June 18, 2009, 07:34:42 AM »

could she use a 10 pound ball.....with a core?

REgards,

Luckylefty.
This could raise her average considerably ... say 1 pin....
--------------------
Open the door...see what's possible...and just walk right on through...that's how easy success feels..

Shaggy · « **Reply #7 on:** June 18, 2009, 07:41:08 AM »

ocbowler,

Enjoy the quality time you are spending with your wife. The fact that she is willing to participate in a game that she probably does not care about, just to spend time with you says it all. In the end. the time you spend with your wife is more important than winning the league championship.

Focus on winning the league championship in your other league.

Shaggy
--------------------
You will not see me on the PBA Tour, but I love the game!!!

Edited on 6/18/2009 7:41 AM

Robadat · « **Reply #8 on:** June 18, 2009, 09:55:17 AM »

Step one - Enjoy the night out with the little lady. For her, it's about spending time with you outside the home. Be glad, very glad.

Step two - Let your teammates do any coaching. Do not do anything other than congratulate her on good shots.

Step three - DO NOT EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ever hint that she has no talent.

Step four - Use the time at family league to work on your mental game.

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LaneHammer20 · « **Reply #9 on:** June 18, 2009, 10:19:31 AM »

I see that alot of others girlfriends/wives also want to use a 10lb ball. I thought my girlfriend was just being a baby, haha. I made her get a 12lb ball anyway, I told her she will get used to it.
--------------------
What is sandbagging???

nextbowler · « **Reply #10 on:** June 18, 2009, 10:53:53 PM »

Shaggy is right, enjoy the time not the outcome. I bowl with my wife again
after a 1 year absence. She does not want to be coached by me or anyone else,
she just wants to enjoy the outing. I do not ever advise her on anything. Oh
by the way, I forgot to mention that the past year she has taken chemotherapy
every single week for lung cancer. As a non smoker, she was stage 4 when
discovered. She is a walking miracle and fine now. You need different
priorities.

ocbowler · « **Reply #11 on:** June 19, 2009, 01:44:14 AM »

quote:
Shaggy is right, enjoy the time not the outcome. I bowl with my wife again
after a 1 year absence. She does not want to be coached by me or anyone else,
she just wants to enjoy the outing. I do not ever advise her on anything. Oh
by the way, I forgot to mention that the past year she has taken chemotherapy
every single week for lung cancer. As a non smoker, she was stage 4 when
discovered. She is a walking miracle and fine now. You need different
priorities.

I sincerely hope that she'll fully recover and keep bowling with you for many more years! I always feel fortunate that My wife and I been healthy.

Thank you all very much for your advice! I feel better that I kind of "let it out" in this post. She actually would listen to me all the time. Her main excuse is:"I try to do what you say but I just cannot control my hand". Of course not, she never practices.

Last night I told her:"You have no talent( she fully understood and accepted that) and would not practice. Don't expect to do good". Today she finally went to bowl 2 games, which were free as a league bowler.

Winning is not that important to me. You see, my frustration is that if she does bad and OK with it, then that's fine. But if she does bad and shows frustrations, then it affects me since I care about her a lot and don't like to see her unhappy.

Last night I thought about it more and suddenly I came upon a new view: I'll take her complaints as a way to try to "talk our talk"( lanes are flooded too dry outside etc.) instead of really complaining. This may be more than half accurate since she "knows" that she's not good but yet wants to talk about a topic "I" have "interest" in.......

Thanks all again for sharing your thoughts and experience!

Juggernaut · « **Reply #12 on:** June 19, 2009, 01:35:55 PM »

quote:
Technical error? No. Mental mistake? Yes!

I bowl in 2 leagues at the same house. In 1 league I average 215 and the other a miserable 194.

The difference? The first league is more of a "money" league that would end up with a much bigger pot for the sweep. About half of the bowlers have a 205 or better average. I have to put my mind in every shot( just don't want to look bad, lol!)

The second league I have my darling wife on my team( made this "mistake" of asking her a year ago). She's petite and can only use a 10 lb. ball with no core. What's worse is that she has no talent and would "never" practice. Weight or strength training? are you kidding? Lol! She wouldn't even go through the approach motion at home( with a 5 lb. dumbbell) to improve her timing. She can seldom repeat her shot.

But the worst is after she misses she would complain that the ball would not hook ball has no power lane is no good etc etc. I have tried to coach her for the last few years but now ready to give up. It's pretty frustrating going through games of 95, 103 with her after she's been bowling for 3-4 years.

I cannot blame her for wanting to have some fun and to spend some "quality" time with me. I just have to train myself not to be that emotional in order to help my game and consequently my team..........

You need to do what I did. I wanted my wife to enjoy the night out of the house, so I let HER decide when she wanted help and when she didn't. I let her bowl whatever she wanted to and just enjoyed her company for the evening and used it as a practice session for my "competitive" league.

Bowling with my wife wasn't about winning, it was about spending some time with her doing something we both enjoy. Rearrange the priorities, get some good practice, and count yourself lucky she isn't practicing something else with someone else while your gone bowling.
--------------------
Good transactions list in my profile

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein

n00dlejester · « **Reply #13 on:** June 19, 2009, 04:17:18 PM »

quote:
Technical error? No. Mental mistake? Yes!

I bowl in 2 leagues at the same house. In 1 league I average 215 and the other a miserable 194.

The difference? The first league is more of a "money" league that would end up with a much bigger pot for the sweep. About half of the bowlers have a 205 or better average. I have to put my mind in every shot( just don't want to look bad, lol!)

The second league I have my darling wife on my team( made this "mistake" of asking her a year ago). She's petite and can only use a 10 lb. ball with no core. What's worse is that she has no talent and would "never" practice. Weight or strength training? are you kidding? Lol! She wouldn't even go through the approach motion at home( with a 5 lb. dumbbell) to improve her timing. She can seldom repeat her shot.

But the worst is after she misses she would complain that the ball would not hook ball has no power lane is no good etc etc. I have tried to coach her for the last few years but now ready to give up. It's pretty frustrating going through games of 95, 103 with her after she's been bowling for 3-4 years.

I cannot blame her for wanting to have some fun and to spend some "quality" time with me. I just have to train myself not to be that emotional in order to help my game and consequently my team..........

The biggest mistake you've made in life is to believe everybody has the same priorities you too. Lay off the competition, and have a good time. Who cares if she doesn't practice? Enjoy your time with her and your night out, and relax a little, it'll probably lower your blood pressure.
--------------------
Proud Supporter of Rob Stone
Obviously, you aren't a golfer.
Some stayed in the foothills, some washed logs like teeth.

charlest · « **Reply #14 on:** June 19, 2009, 06:16:07 PM »

Just separate married life from your sports/games enjoyments.

Bolwing is obviously not your wife's strong suit since she won't do anything to make herself better, yet she whines about everything causing her problems but herself. In this facet she is no different than 90% of every bowler. Nothing is ever their fault.

Find some other hobby you can enjoy together, like sex.

--------------------
"None are so blind as those who will not see."

Author Topic: biggest mistake I made in bowling (Read 3956 times)

ocbowler

biggest mistake I made in bowling

blacknois

Re: biggest mistake I made in bowling

icewall

Re: biggest mistake I made in bowling

joegunn

Re: biggest mistake I made in bowling

goose194

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Phoneman

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LuckyLefty

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Shaggy

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Robadat

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LaneHammer20

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nextbowler

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ocbowler

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Juggernaut

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n00dlejester

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charlest

Re: biggest mistake I made in bowling