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Author Topic: What to do.. league team problems. Need opinions  (Read 1076 times)

SirAshley

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What to do.. league team problems. Need opinions
« on: May 10, 2005, 02:11:53 PM »
Okay I need some opinions on this. I know what I did was wrong but anger got the best of me this night. Here we go, I bowl on a 5 man team and one guy on our team has about a 170 average. How it got that high I'll never know, he consistantly shoots between 105-120. This naturally has gotten aggravating. I have an average of 187, and shot 675 and we still lost every game with all the other team mates at least hitting average and him shooting like 125's... Now normally, I let things slide, people are going to have bad weeks but 10 weeks in a row. Okay well it all came to a head the other night. Picture this, we have lost every game in the past 4 weeks, even though I myself have averaged 221(over the past 4 weeks),my average on league is 187. SOOOO!!! we are starving for a win.. Anyway, we finally have a shot to win a game. I struck then spared in the 10th for a 215, he gets up and throws a gutter, on a spare!!!... Then gets up and throws another gutter!!!!!!!!!!... Needless to say we lost the game by 22 pins... and he goes on care free and joking about it, the rest of the team was upset but me, oh I was pissed!.. Again, I avoid the confrontation about it, and try to let it slide but my anger gets the best of me. Soooo, I began talking trash to everyone, including the other team. I talked enough trash to make sure it got back to him. Now the story gets alot longer than this but I'm keeping this as short as possible. Well, I know I was wrong, but my anger got the best of me. I can't apologize cause quite honestly, I meant everything I said. So... I have to bowl two more weeks with this guy.. What do I do... I'm sure some of you have been through this sort of thing before so any info is appreciated... Thanks in advance guys...
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SirAshley

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Re: What to do.. league team problems. Need opinions
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2005, 10:53:15 PM »
I completely agree with you, it was just that my anger and liquor at that point had gotten the best of me. It had just built up you know. Anyway, thanks for the reply and 2 others on the team have made it clear they do not wish to bowl with him again either...
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They say that 1 in 3 people in this world are ugly. So look to your left and look to your right, if neither one of those people are ugly... Guess who is!!!

Lane Bed

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Re: What to do.. league team problems. Need opinions
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2005, 11:42:31 PM »
I'd get a sub. Since he don't care, your probably in last spot, why drive yourself nuts.

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SrKegler

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Re: What to do.. league team problems. Need opinions
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2005, 07:50:10 AM »
What I don't understand is how he can have a 170 average and continually shoot between 105 & 120.

It's funny how people consider a game being lost in the 10th frame when someone misses a simple spare.  Was that the only spare the team missed?  If so then maybe you had a reason to complain.  If not, you cannot single that spare as the one that cost you the game.

Granted, there is no reason for someone to dump 2 in a row in the ditch.  By the figures you gave, you lost the game by 22 pins.  Even if he went 9/9, you would still have lost by 3 pins.  He would have needed a double for you to win the game.

Perhaps the pressure of the 10th frame is making him try and aim the ball instead of throwing naturally.  Its very easy to miss when the pressure is on.

Another thing to consider.  Lets say you somehow win the league.  Fast forward to 2 years from now.  Is anyone going to remember?  Is it going to matter?

I would do a little coaching to make him a better bowler rather than run him off.



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SirAshley

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Re: What to do.. league team problems. Need opinions
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2005, 09:09:18 AM »
His average got to 170 partially because of the first week, he established by shooting a very lucky 278... I don't think he is smart enough to sandbag and if you saw him throw a ball you wouuld know why. The rest of my team has at least bowled average and we still keep losing. That one particular that we lost by 22 pins wasn't what ticked me off(not the initial thing), but it was the iceing on the cake. The last time we won was a month ago, I shot 772..with a then 183 average... That night, we won all the games and he began shooting his mouth off to the other team, even though his high game was 137.. It has been one thing after another... I can't wait for this season to end. I already have another team lined up.
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They say that 1 in 3 people in this world are ugly. So look to your left and look to your right, if neither one of those people are ugly... Guess who is!!!

SirAshley

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Re: What to do.. league team problems. Need opinions
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2005, 09:15:00 AM »
Oh yeah don't get me wrong, I realize people are going to have bad weeks. We all do, it's just a part of bowling. My anger stemmed from a lack of effort, and a lack of caring for the welfare of the team. This is the same guy who purposely shanked a ball in the 10th costing the team the game so he would get a consistency patch for shooting 3 159's. That one got to me as well...LOL...
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They say that 1 in 3 people in this world are ugly. So look to your left and look to your right, if neither one of those people are ugly... Guess who is!!!

Sir Bowl-A-Lot

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Re: What to do.. league team problems. Need opinions
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2005, 10:38:17 AM »
SirAsh - I look at it like this:

Unless I throw a scratch 300, then I did not bowl the best that I can.  Therefore I will never get mad at another teammate for bowling below their average.  If we lost by 22 pins and I bowled a 277, then I look at it like if I had just concentrated better and struck instead of leaving that 2/4/5, we would have won that game.  Just as much my fault as anyone else's.  After all, we are a team and bowl together.  We share our wins and losses.  Remember, nobody's perfect and most of us go through slumps from time time.  Instead of getting mad at your teammate, you should sit down and help him with his game.  Just my .02
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Edited on 5/11/2005 10:34 AM

bluedothooks

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Re: What to do.. league team problems. Need opinions
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2005, 11:06:13 AM »
I look at like this, you bowl as a team, so you win as a team and lose as a team. And it does get frustrating when you haven't won a game in a few weeks. But, saying that "I shot 675 and we still lost" isn't going to solve the problem. What needs to be done is keeping the team loose. Telling guys after a bad game to "shake it off, you'll bounce back next game" is good advice. Some people don't perform well under pressure. Key is to have fun.

If his average is 170, that means if he constantly shoots games between 105-120, he's got to shoot games of 225 to 240 to keep that average around 170.

When the season is over, then you can decide if you're coming back or if you AND your teammates want him back.
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Debina

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Re: What to do.. league team problems. Need opinions
« Reply #8 on: May 11, 2005, 11:19:45 AM »
quote:
What needs to be done is keeping the team loose. Telling guys after a bad game to "shake it off, you'll bounce back next game" is good advice.


Sorry to disagree with this, but it really depends on who's making that kind of statement.  I'm in a situation where I'd like to run screaming out of the center when a certain teammate tells me to shake it off.  I've bowled with her for two years, and her average has dropped by 15 pins this year.  She enjoys being the low average on the team and says so often.  She's a nice lady, but at the end of the season next week, her average will be very close to two digits.  She doesn't practice.  She rarely tries.  She asks for advice and then says she can't do what's suggested.  If she throws a shot in the gutter, she shrugs and says "Oh well" while standing on the approach and holding up other bowlers.  If it's in the gutter by the time it gets to the arrows, get off the danged approach!

This week I fluffed a 10 pin, and as I walked back to my seat she grabbed my hand, patted it, and told me it was OK because she missed it the last frame.  Sorry, but I work too hard to improve to take comfort that I missed the same pin she did.  At least I've held my temper so far.  This is the first time I've ever bowled for last place in a league.  One more week and I'm on a new team for fall.

I just want to keep it together for one more week so I don't end up in the same angry spot as SirAshley.

Good luck, SirAshley.  I feel your pain.

Deb

sirguy

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Re: What to do.. league team problems. Need opinions
« Reply #9 on: May 11, 2005, 12:00:38 PM »
SirAshly


When you're losing everything is magnified. Look at it this way at least you're bowling well.  How do you think the guy with the 170 feels bowling 30-50 pins under his avg? I've been in slumps many times over the 20+ yrs I've been bowling. In fact I'm in one now. I had a 186 avg in the beginning of March. I've lost 9 pins over a span of ten weeks. During that time I bowled after working nearly all night (not recommended) and 1 week I only bowled 1 game with a slight muscle pull in my lower back. I declined to bowl the rest of the night after putting up a 127.  During this 10 week period I had problems getting out of the ball, carrying strikes,my mind being elsewhere etc...  The worst thing about it is my team has been winning. We've moved from 16th to 10th place. It may be a bit selfish but I enjoy bowling just a wee bit more when I'm doing well or at least average even if the team is struggling. So as we have moved into the top 10 it has not been that enjoyable for me. If the shoe were on the other foot I would never talk about a teammate to my opponent or other players on my team for that matter. To me that is just basic common sense. When it comes to a struggling bowler ....

Never offer advice unless asked.
Never make a team member feel self-conscience about his game.
Win as a team lose as team.

It's simple as that. Roll out whats left of the season and go with another team next year. If the situation should happen again and you feel the urge to do what you did before go to the bar and get yourself a bottle of ice cold sportsmanship.

BTW

I wouldn't want a bowler who would actually want a patch for 3 159 games in a row.



 


Edited on 5/11/2005 12:08 PM

BigHorhn

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Re: What to do.. league team problems. Need opinions
« Reply #10 on: May 11, 2005, 12:25:42 PM »
My advise is the same as most of the guys. Its to late to do anything about the situation now. Some people don't bowl well under pressure and it doesn't help adding to the pressure already there. I new what kind of team that I was on two weeks into the season. Not a good one but, I stayed and made the most of it because I didn't want to leave a couple of my teamates hanging. Who are friends.
It actually made it fun, I drank more, socialized more and winning money helped to. I won't be bowling on that team next year. I made up my mind about that early on and it helped me get my head together and coming in first in my Tuesday league helped a lot to. We have two more weeks to, relax have fun work on your game and think about the summer and next year when you won't have to bowl with him again.