....about a tactful way of approaching a team member.  I know I may be asking a lot for "tact" on these forums!!    Just kidding.

My Wednesday night mixed team is pretty good.  It's my wife, some guy, my friend, and me.  My wife is a solid 185 and makes her spares.  The "some guy" can be a strike machine, but can't make spares to save his life (approx 190 average), my friend (approx 195 average) who can eat up a certain condition, but can't "find" anything when the going gets tough or "that condition" is not there, and me (the random 220 guy).

The order is: me, wife, some guy, friend.

Herein lies the problem.  My friend invited  us to join the team in the offseason.  We agreed.  He asked me if the order I mentioned above was OK with me.  With this not being my team and my friend having anchored this team for several years (he's 13 years older than me), I humbly said it should be fine, not wanting to rock the boat of him and "some guy".  

However, over the course of the year, my friend has demonstrated a propensity for choking in the 10th.

Now, before I get killed here, I realize that everyone opens a frame from time to time, and it never should really technically be left up to the anchor to go win a game.  It just seems like every time we only need a mark in the 10th frame to win a game, he goes big four, or flags a 10-pin.  Trust me, I know that pressure of the 10th and have choked myself when I've been anchor.  We've all done it.  But I also know when to defer to my teammates who may be hot at the time and can hold the ship afloat while I get my head out of my keister.

I know he's trying and I know that he busts his hump trying to get better, but it just seems like he doesn't have "IT" to buck up in the 10th and deliver a mark.

Have any of you ever run into this situation?  And, if you have, how did you bring up that the lineup may need a little kicking around?
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If I ever saw an amputee being hanged, I'd just yell out letters.  --DM

I change the line up on my teams every now and then. No real reason, just do. When the team asks, I always tell them..If you're not here I need to see what works best. They say OK, and I mix it up. There's only one person who refuses to be moved so I don't move them ( it's my wife and I have to live with her, so being the "good" husband I am, I don't move her ). I've never had problems, never dipped (much ) in scores, we just bowl. Only other problem I had with that, me...I'm old and sometimes forget where I put myself ! That's no biggie.

I'd say, talk to him and suggest a change, if for no other reason, just in case someone had to miss a night and then the team would know what will or will not work. Just a suggestion.
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az guy aka: R & L Bowlers Pro
rlbowlerspro@cox.net

I understand your dilemma. In all honesty, it is the anchors responsibility to perform in the 10th when the game is on the line.  Out of the last 5 times the game or series has been left up to me(anchor), I have only won 1 or 2 of them. Just last Monday, I left a ringing ten then missed the spare to lose that series by 7.

I personally ask the team if anyone else wants to bowl anchor.  Although I prefer to bowl either lead off or anchor.  If I blow another one, I will move myself from the anchor position.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago.  After choking for the fifth week in a row where my friend, the anchor could have won a game, decided to "demote" himself to the leadoff position and "promote" me to anchor.  I guess I am lucky that I did not have to say anything to him but if it had gone on another week, I would have tactfully talked to him off to the side about it and see where it went.  I eventually talked to him about some techniques I use when under pressure and after a while we switched back to our original positions and he did much better.

I suggest just asking him what he is thinking about when he gets up to bowl in these "pressure" situations and then try to teach him about positive self talk and some of the things you do to handle the pressure.  Who knows, maybe your experience as an anchor could help him to get better...?
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Thanks,
Paul Saunders
USBC Bronze Level Coach



Edited on 3/20/2008 11:53 AM