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Author Topic: Things you heard in a proshop or bowling alley that makes you laugh  (Read 5035 times)

David Lee Yskes

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Things you heard in a proshop or bowling alley that makes you laugh
« on: October 01, 2003, 09:59:24 AM »
Ok, i have basically heard everything from league bowlers who come into a proshop or just from being on the lanes, lol but some of it just makes me laugh lol.

I heard one guy last yr, who came into a proshop after shooting 299, and was looking at the Icon, and was like, I need a ball that will HOOK.  

I had one guy i bowl with last yr, come in two weeks in a row, and tell me, that the other bowling house in town sucked, And i asked why, He said WELL MY BALL DOESNT HOOK.  

 Then the week after, he went to another place i have bowled at, in a near by town, and he said the same thing, And i snapped back, why doesnt your ball HOOK?  

Now i myself usta be like some house bowlers and go into a proshop and just say, I want this ball drilled for Max length and Max hook.  I did it with my El Nino and it worked, ball is great,  Did it with my La Nina when it was new, and couldnt figure out why i couldnt keep it on the lane lol.  

Or, i get people who watch me practice and i might be playing 25-5 and be striking left n right, and they come upto me and say how do u do that?  Can you Teach me how to hook the ball like you?  I always say hell no, dont try bowling like me, it will only make you worse.  

Now the best is, when i get guys comming upto me and asking me if i am on the Pro Tour, lol.  And of course i say no i am not, i am not nearly good enough, and they of course say whatever, your averaging over 200 right, lol.  
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9andaWiggle

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Re: Things you heard in a proshop or bowling alley that makes you laugh
« Reply #16 on: October 03, 2003, 12:35:13 PM »
Overheard a story in the pro shop about a guy who brought in a ball that had a gouge in it.  Someone asked if the gouge was in his track, and he said "No.  I don't have a Track ball.  It's in my (whatever the ball was)."

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Badger856

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Re: Things you heard in a proshop or bowling alley that makes you laugh
« Reply #17 on: October 03, 2003, 12:39:48 PM »

"How do you get turned on enough for a thumbhole?"

After a few drinks and soft light with Barry White on the vocals...you know...it just happens.
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Game In a BoxLC

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Re: Things you heard in a proshop or bowling alley that makes you laugh
« Reply #18 on: October 03, 2003, 12:52:25 PM »
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Game In a BoxLC

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Re: Things you heard in a proshop or bowling alley that makes you laugh
« Reply #19 on: October 03, 2003, 12:57:31 PM »
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Scolai

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Re: Things you heard in a proshop or bowling alley that makes you laugh
« Reply #20 on: October 03, 2003, 04:10:24 PM »
There are almost too many to list.

We have the guy who throws a plastic Budweiser ball, averages 127 and wears house shoes who tells us he bowled on the PBA Tour.

It's really fun to hear new bowlers talking about, "I want to throw a curve ball."  Hey, take up baseball.

People are always asking, "How do you throw the ball like that?"  Like what?  "How you curve it like that." Lotsa practice, pal.
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Scolai

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MI 2 AZ

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Re: Things you heard in a proshop or bowling alley that makes you laugh
« Reply #21 on: October 03, 2003, 06:14:13 PM »
quote:
It's really fun to hear new bowlers talking about, "I want to throw a curve ball."


Shows how the game has changed.  In the '60s I remember reading the free bowling tips pamphlets that were put out by AMF and Brunswick and several described the three different types of shots as the straight ball, the hook, and the curve.  And there were illustrations showing the three shots.  So I guess we've lost the curve since then.  
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johns811

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Re: Things you heard in a proshop or bowling alley that makes you laugh
« Reply #22 on: October 03, 2003, 08:52:11 PM »
Last year we were bowling at North Woods Lanes in Macedonia OH. It was about midway through the second game. On the lane next to us a ball is rolling down the lane about to hit the pins and a 5 gallon bucket of water comes crashing through the ceiling right in from of the head pin.

Bucket, ball, pins ended up in the pit strike I guess. Water, ceiling tiles were all over the lane. Took 1 hour to clean up and re oil the pair.

The bucket was catching a leak in the ceiling and broke loose.

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RSalas

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Re: Things you heard in a proshop or bowling alley that makes you laugh
« Reply #23 on: October 06, 2003, 06:01:25 PM »
quote:
I was in the shop today tweaking my grips and the owner was telling me that a guy in my league got arrested last friday night. I asked what for and he said for sodomizing a bowling ball.


After the initial shock upon reading this, a question came to my mind:  Do we now have to credit this guy with a "BPL?"

quote:
The alley owner caught him as he was leaving the evidence and called the cops.


I guess this gives new meaning to the term "police blotter."
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jimsey

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Re: Things you heard in a proshop or bowling alley that makes you laugh
« Reply #24 on: October 07, 2003, 04:48:47 PM »
One of our local wannabees recently finished up a 3 game set with 4 consecutive splits.  He had refused to make an adjustment whining that he always plays the second arrow.  He picked up his hook monster ball, complaining about its performance and telling us how big a piece of crap it was and that it had no hit whatsoever.  He sets it on the counter and bends down to remove his shoes.  As if it had a laser guiding system, the ball hesitated and then rolled 3 feet across the counter and nails him in the back of the head.  Never saw more people ROTFLTAO at one time.
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NoNeed4Revs

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Re: Things you heard in a proshop or bowling alley that makes you laugh
« Reply #25 on: October 07, 2003, 05:18:36 PM »
Finally couldn't resist. Here are a few quotes from an anonymous junior bowler out here. Mind you, he actually is a solid 190-something average bowler who has come close to winning a few tournaments before. We’ll call him Mark.

“You know if you hit your arrow, you’ll carry every time”

Mark: “This is a really nice shot out there”
Bowler: “Oh, how you bowling?”
Mark: “Don’t even ask”

Bowler: “It sounds like your core is cracked”
Mark: “No it’s not”
Bowler: “Well it sure sounds like it”
Mark: “Oh, I ordered it like that”

“I just needed a little bit more speed…”
(After leaving a solid 5-pin for 299)

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Undoubtedly the best bowler to ever come out of Sequoia Lanes. Maybe that's why they tore it down.
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