have a pearl bowling ball that is 2000 grit + polish.     really like the ball, and it reads the mid lane great, but because its at 2k + polish, it tends to push on me just a bit.    I have tried every move possible, bought another ball , etc....and nothing has worked.       
 Thinking of taking this pearl ball down to say 800 + polish.

would that be to much or should I go to say 1000 + polish ?

You're in a tricky balance situation. Everything is relative; so your "just a bit" can vary widely from another's "just a bit".

I'd suggest taking a damp 4000 grit pad and hazing the surface lightly, as a first attempt. I mean just barely remove most of the shine.

If that doesn't work, then try a 750 grit sanding plus a light polish.

(Be careful: you mention 800 grit, but most "800 grit" pads use the CAMI grading system [Scotch-Brite uses CAMI], whereas most abrasive pads, Abralon, Siaair, NEAT and Jost, use the FEPA grading system. 800 grit CAMI is roughly equivalent to 1500/1600 grit FEPA. So, if you use the light grey Scotch-Brite pad, which is 800 grit CAMI, the result will barely be any different from your 2000 grit current base grit level.)

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I'd just take a 2000 or 3000 pad to the surface by hand just to break the polish

I did the 2000 with no polish and it wasnt enough.   3000 grit tends to go to long for me.

I'm not saying completely change the surface to 2000 or 3000. Since you think the surface you have now is close except it just pushes a little too much, you only need to haze the surface to break the polish

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I'd just take a 2000 or 3000 pad to the surface by hand just to break the polish

I did the 2000 with no polish and it wasn't enough.   3000 grit tends to go to long for me.

the shot has an OTB and due to being the only person on that side ( yes, you guessed, it, I am left handed ), I dont have a lot of miss room.       I have tried to soften it up and to soft it goes through the face....to fast and wash out.    Its a very fine line.     
Dont get me wrong, I like the challenge and not looking to shoot huge numbers, just looking to get a more consistent ball reaction.

Just to clarify -
you already sanded it to 2000 dull and it was still going too long?

If so, then the ball is going WAY too long, not "just a bit".
You need to sand it duller, maybe 1000 or 1500 grit or buy a stronger ball.

Just be aware that, as you go duller and duller, you gets less length, but you also need more head oil. You may need to play deeper to prevent weak hits and bad carry (5-10s, 7-9s, or plain weak 7 pins).

I have bought 800 Siaair pads.