Okay guys, Last night I was bowling in a 9 pin no-tap no handicap sweeper. Went through the 15 minute practice feeling really good and just having a good ole time. Started the 1st game with the front 5 natural thats how well I was doing. 6th frame on were all open frames. I suddenly couldn't figure out why I was leaving multi pin spares, I wasn't that far off the pocket to yield some of the 3-4 pin spares I was leaving. Missing all the spares from that point on. I had an all new feeling come over me. I started to feel suffocated. Like people were talking behind my back and laughing at me. I know all the other bowlers and I have good standing with them all so them talking and laughing at me is highly unlikely. I only shot a 144, i wasn't pissed about it. I was just gonna use the next 3 games as practice for my timing and spare shooting along with trying different lines since the oil was a lot thicker then usual. (felt like a viper pattern) While waiting I started to get the over powering feeling that I don't belong where I was at and was starting to get pissed off at everyone to the point that I was about to snap at any given moment.

I came up with a quick no thought move to just pack it up and get the crap out of there before I ended up on the channel 5 10o'clock news. Usually when I'm pissed off of my bowling performance I will usually shuve stuff into my bag (not throw it in but place it into firmly), this was not how it went at all. I drove the 40 minutes home without the radio on.

I have thought about taking some time away from bowling cause I was getting fed up with it 2.5 months prior to the season end. So I took a 7 week break away from bowling all together never even looking at my equipment until friday june 19th. Usually I'm pretty competitive in this sweeper, this year I've finished 19th out of 24, 27th out of 31, and last night dead last since I pulled out of competition for good cause.

Im at a loss to why I felt like I did.
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Mike Zadler
"When in doubt, Pull out" - Rob Stone
Below, my stats from previous seasons:
http://members.bowl.com/SearchUSBC/ViewMember.aspx?prefix=552&suffix=12886

Edited on 7/25/2009 2:40 PM

Sounds like a classic anxiety attack.  Is everything else in your life going alright?

  Had a friend who had problems he was hiding ( in the background because he didn't want others to know ) and he started having these same type things happening to him.  Got so bad he didn't even want to leave the house to go to work.

  If these feelings continue, you MAY need to seek medical attention for them as they may be a pre-cursor to depression.
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Good transactions list in my profile

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein

Well, there are things going on but its all stuff that is out of my control. I'm on unemployment, since June 1st. My moms brother passed away, uncle, and a another relative that we never talked to. I didn't talk to any of them, so thats not effecting me. My best friend just had a Cousin who was killed in chicago (wrong place and time), his dog passed away last wednesday, and his father passed away thursday. While Im sad for him about his dad, I've never talked with my friends dad. I just found out his name today in the obituary. Neither of my parents work, my ma is too lazy to get off her ash to look for a job and my dad has been trying to get a job the last 10 months. Only my dad is getting unemployment. The relationship between me and my g/f is doing well. I've been helping her parents as much as I can with their house that was recently flooded out from a water main break back in January. There starting to get back to normalcy over there finally.

So theres really not a whole lot thats effecting me directly. My vehicle is running good, has some body rust but thats fixable and i have plans to fix it.

Thats it.
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Mike Zadler
"When in doubt, Pull out" - Rob Stone
Below, my stats from previous seasons:
http://members.bowl.com/SearchUSBC/ViewMember.aspx?prefix=552&suffix=12886

Edited on 7/25/2009 3:45 PM

As someone who's suffered depression in the past, I cannot stress how important it is to get help.  Dont go questioning yourself if you need it or not, get it before it starts to ruin your life.