Over the past couple Sundays, our association has held it's yearly All-Star tournament.  The format is top 48 in points are invited, bowl 9 games across 9 pairs on a modified house shot.  Basically the bounce to the right was taken away.  Top 12 advance to the next week for 12 games of match-play, with the last game being a position round.  30 bonus pins for a win.  

After last week, I was in 2nd at +301.  I averaged 233.4, while the guy in 1st was at +380.  He was one of the 2 lefties that made the cut.  I thought that I bowled about as well as I ever had.  I had a great look with the right ball, and I made good shots.  I missed 3 spares and had a handful of splits.

On to today.  The shot started off the same in practice, but it was gone immediately.  I started off bowling the top qualifier.  Neither of us had anything.  A friend told me what he saw and recommended a line change.  I lost the game and was honestly lost.  

I pulled my head back in it and and shot a 289 the next game.  To make a long story short, I won 9 of my next 10 matches against some of the best bowlers in our city.  I remained in 2nd going into the position round.  I even made up pins on the leader, who remained in 1st the entire day.  

After 11 games, the shot had obviously transitioned quite a bit.  After game 7 or so I still had a look, but my carry % went into the gutter.  It was getting demanding and scores were falling.  My choice was to either change balls (I had moved a ton and changed hand positions) and take the chance of losing the pocket, or I could keep the pocket and hope they started falling for me.  I went with B until the end of game 11 when I finally made a ball change.  For 5 games I took my chance hitting the hole, but it wasn't meant to be.  

So going into game 12, I had to win by 26 to become our city's Bowler of the Year.  The guy in 3rd was 25 behind me.  I bowled as well as I could have.  I won the match by 10 sticks.  I had 2 opens (big splits) and four 10-pins.  Lefty left back to back stone 9's, and also had 2 splits.  I beat him, but he won the tourney.  The guy in 3rd won his match, and also beat my score by 33, so he leaped me the last game.  

My final tally for the day was a 10-2 match play record (best in tourney), 213.3 average (5th), 1 missed spare (chopped 2-5-8), 30-something ten pin leaves, and a bunch of splits (I did convert the 2-4-8-10 and 2-10).  

Looking at these stats and thinking about the way I executed, I can't really find anything to be disappointed about.  It was a super long grind, and in reality I bowled the best I ever have in my life.  The guy that won is a local hall of famer, so no shame in that.  So why so down you wonder?

It's because right now it feels that my best still wasn't good enough.  I laid it all out there today and still fell short.  I missed 1 spare in 12 games and still lost.  I could have made better decisions, but I couldn't have executed better overall.  I believed I had a chance to win, bowled like it, and still didn't win.  

I have come up short many times before, but this one really stings.  I suppose the day of isn't a good time to look back on it because it still hurts.  I'm sure in a few weeks or so I will be able to see how well I really did do and learn from it.  There is no shame in how I performed, but confidence is always something I've been lacking.  I do feel a little better after typing this out, so if you made it this far, thanks for reading.  

Don
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"You cannot change the stripes of a leopard."
~Emmitt Smith