(In my best 1950's announcer voice)
Introducing the all new Flatgutter 1000!
Check out those smooth lines! Finger holes in just the right spot!
Now watch as it hits the pines!
Set it in the scorched track! Rolls up like a dream!
Drop it in the puddle! Makes it around the corner like its on rails!
So easy to use, even your 5 year old can play!
So technologically advanced, your can even bowl when your shitfaced!
But......wait!!!!! There's more!
Purchase now, and you will also receive a certificate for a 300 game and 800 series!
Just present your certificate to your local proprietor after your first league set. It's that easy!