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Author Topic: How do I deal with jealous people?  (Read 1908 times)

Earlsgirl41

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How do I deal with jealous people?
« on: January 09, 2009, 04:28:24 PM »
Hello I'm a new menber.  I consider myself a a very competitive bowler.  I bowl in a women's scratch league.  I've been bowling for 10 years but out of the 10 years I've bowled in this league for 3 years. I've built myself to be a very versatile bowler in which I can play anypart of the lane, change speeds, hand positions, etc.  When I bowl and the lights come on I put on my game face and it's all business.  But off the lanes I'm like the girl next door and would talk to anybody and like to joke and kid around. My teamates understand me well as well as a few other lady bowlers.  My boyfriend comes with me to watch me and give me support.  I'm the only lady bowler that has her man with her.  I bowl with such intensity that it scares other bowlers in which some perceive that I'm aiming my intensity at them in which that's not the case.  Recently, everytime that my boyfriend and I have a conversation in means of how I'm adjusting to the lanes or complain how filty the lanes are that someone happens to eavesdrop on our conversation and some how I end up being gossiped about as the bad guy.  Whoever this person that is nosy justs wants to make trouble for me and wants to stir things up.  When I talk to my boyfried we don't even talk about sex or even talk dirty we keep that in the bedroom nor do we make out in front of people.  I noramlly give him a peck on the lips and give him a hug.  That's it.  I believe that the jealousy is two fold. One being that I'm a very versatile bowler and bring in 6 bowling balls because the condition vary everyweek.  More like Forrest gump Lane condtion, because you never know what you're going to get week in and week out.  And the other part of the jealousy is that my boyfriend and I have such a great relationship and really love each other and we're very happy with each other.  How do I really deal with this bunch of whinny women without it upsetting me?  I know that their intention is to get into my head and make it so unenjoyable for me to where I get to the point that I would quit the league. How do I deal with this in a classy manner?  Any help and suggestions would be very helpful.  My main goal as a bowler is to become a professional bowler. I have a great physical game. And my mental game is off and on and I know that I can't let this be.  What's the best revenge without seeming spiteful?  Please help.
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Z Jellsey

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2009, 12:44:35 AM »
Ignore them, let them hate...

That was hard to read...

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DanH78

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2009, 12:55:17 AM »
quote:
Ignore them, let them hate...

That was hard to read...



+1

F'em if the can't take a joke.  You're there to compete, not to make friends.  Ignore it and it will go away...and really, ignoring it will probably screw with them more because they won't understand why it isn't bothering you
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J_L_B

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2009, 01:13:45 AM »
At least jealous people use paragraphs.
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dizzyfugu

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2009, 07:15:02 AM »
quote:
Ignore them, let them hate...

That was hard to read...



Just the same here, and welcome on board.
You cannot help haters - and someone here had that nice signature "Never argue with an idiot - an outstanding person will not be able to tell who the idiot acrually is...". There's much to it. Just keep cool, smile, and have mercy. If you can, crush them in competition. Anything else is lost energy.
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mainzer

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2009, 07:18:54 AM »
I have a similiar where  my gf bowls, I am very well hated in the area due to someones inability to take criticism well.

Ignore these people, if they are not decent enough to understand your intensity and that you are out their to try to bowl your best night in and out that is their problem. Also if they dont try to get to know the real you, the you off the lanes then they are the pricks then.
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MainzerPower

Gazoo

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2009, 07:51:39 AM »
This problem seems to pop up when you have competitive bowlers bowling in non-competitive social leagues. You might want to keep your eyes out for a more competitive league down the road especially since your goal is to become a professional bowler. As others have stated just ignore it and eventually it will stop when they see it is having no effect. People who put others down do so to feel better about themselves because they feel inadequate. But also be careful because as Bones stated, sometimes how we feel we are and what we really are projecting are two different things. There can be a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Good luck, stick with it, and hope to see you on TV one day!
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Hogsharley

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2009, 08:12:00 AM »
quote:
I'm the only lady bowler that has her man with her.
Maybe they're jealous because you come there with you man. They come there to get away from their's.  

quote:
 Whoever this person that is nosy justs wants to make trouble for me and wants to stir things up.  How do I really deal with this bunch of whinny women without it upsetting me?


It is just a women thing? I couldn't care less about what other people are thinking or saying about me. There has to be some people in the league that like you.

quote:
I know that their intention is to get into my head and make it so unenjoyable for me to where I get to the point that I would quit the league.


It sounds like it's working.



 
quote:
What's the best revenge without seeming spiteful?  Please help.  


Beat them on the lanes and then take their money!




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Earlsgirl41

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2009, 08:55:35 AM »
Oh by means I have no intentions to quit this league because that would let them win and I don't want to give them the satisfation.  In the 10 years that I've been bowling I have paid my dues of getting my butt kicked by other bowlers and I've bowled against men and got beaten by them.  That in result made me a better bowler and I didn't hate them.  I've studied in how they bowled and practiced and had worked with a lot of coaches.  The ones who really understand me are my teamates and a few other fellow league members like I"ve mentioned before like me.  

Thank you to all of you who have responded to my post please keep up the responses. I like to make my situation better.  I have considered in bowling in a PBA experience league in another house and this league mostly are men, but that doesn't bother me, because I'm not afraid to bowl against any man no matter how good they are.  I feel that I'm just as good as they are.  I've bowled in leagues like the PBA experience league before and really enjoy the environment. Because bowling with the men is really different they don't whine nor try to cause trouble for me and I've beaten a lot of men due to paying my dues of getting my butt kicked.  I do make some men sweat when they would bowl against me.
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six pack

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2009, 10:33:27 AM »
be nice to see your profile,it dosen't seem to work.
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Mike Austin

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2009, 10:34:27 AM »
As long as you get along good with your teammates and your boyfriend, who cares?  Get scoreboard on 'em, beat 'em on the lanes.

If you are good with your friends and teammates, that's all that matters.  The other women are just jealous, you have a man you are happy with, you have 6 bowling balls, you can play different lines effectively, you have competitive fire, all the things they wish they had.  Let 'em get over it.


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Earlsgirl41

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2009, 12:00:27 PM »
quote:
be nice to see your profile,it dosen't seem to work.
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The harder I try the harder they fall


What do you mean by that?  please explain a little more.
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six pack

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2009, 01:54:17 PM »
look to the left where it says MY INFO,under that-PROFILE,click on it and list some info about your game,style,equipment,layouts,Honnor scores,etc.etc.
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The harder I try the harder they fall
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LuvThatWhiteDot

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2009, 01:55:33 PM »
You can't let what others think of you when you're on the lanes.  That's YOUR time, despite the fact that you're bowling with a team and a league full of people.

It may take some time, but I would just ignore it.  Most people who are jealous of competitive bowlers only see the finished product... not the hours of practice and lessons that go on behind the scene.

Oh, and by all means, bowl that PBA Experience league.  You'll love it even though it'll be a tough.  I can't wait for summer 2009 to do it again
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Earlsgirl41

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Re: How do I deal with jealous people?
« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2009, 02:54:28 PM »
quote:
look to the left where it says MY INFO,under that-PROFILE,click on it and list some info about your game,style,equipment,layouts,Honnor scores,etc.etc.
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The harder I try the harder they fall


Well here it is

Columbia U turn pearl drilled to arc
Lane one buzzsaw Uranium drilled midlane
Hammer Black Widow strong layout drill
Hammer Black Widow Pearl drilled to flip
Storm Flash Flood drilled to arc
Brunswick Eliminator drilled to flip
Columbia Purple scout reactive pearl
Columbia red scout urethane
Black widow clear spare ball

High Scratch series  750
High scratch game 280 twice

Got the nickname Earl's Girl from a few male bowlers because of how I deliver the ball with such smoothness.  

I'm a huge Earl Anthony fan and aspire to be the next Earl Anthony but just  a female version. I have a huge Earl Anthony shrine with 3 Kessler mirrors and a letter that Earl had written me back in 1998 1 page long.  And other various Earl memorabilia that I collect.
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