This happens so often I think we need a primer (this post could also be called, "Poor sportsmanship from experienced bowlers I've witnessed in the past"):
1. If you are a 200+ average bowler and you sign up for a summer league that caters to beginners, do not complain when you get jumped due to improper lane courtesy.
2. Do not run out every strike and flip off every 10-pin you leave.
3. Do not be surprised if your team ends up bowling four people with an aggregate 359 handicap (as my team did last week). And don't gripe about it, either (we didn't).
4. Remember to congratulate the bowler who just bowled his/her all-time high of 140. Even if, with their 98 pins of handicap (238), just beat your 208 (228).
5. When the young woman who is averaging 86 but trying really hard apologizes for six gutter balls in a row and worries league bowling might not be for her, take the time to cheer her up. The sport depends on it. And every one of us has been in her shoes before, anyway.
6. To the corn-syrup-and-carbonation-addicted teen with the 6,000 revs and 220 average -- the next time you get four in a row, please refrain from dancing around on the approach like a Madagascar hissing cockroach with the DTs and yelling "WOOOO!" like Ric Flair when bowling the four newbies who didn't get four strikes between them over a three-game set. Thank you.
7. If you're the experienced bowler bowling with the beginner teams in the beginner league, please refrain from dragging eight balls to league and switching every four fram..........oh wait, that was me. Scratch this one, I have a replacement...
7b. Beginners, don't eat bowling alley French fries (or "easy greasies") with your bowling hand.
8. To the guy last year who tried to buttonhole the lane man after the fun league was over to complain that the shot in the fun league was too hard, please go play in the street.
9. However, to the bowling center (and particularly the part-time help you had running stops), when a ball comes back from the machine with AXLE GREASE all over it, please do not instruct the control desk guy to attempt to allay the bowlers' complaints with, "It ain't hurtin' nothin'. It'll stop coming back on the balls in a little bit." Best to just go ahead and switch pairs.
10. And finally, never miss the opportunity to shake someone's hand and say "good game" after a set and tell them how much you enjoyed bowling with them. It might keep them coming back to this game we love so much.
Jess
