Sung to the theme of West Virginia by John Denver(god rest his ultralight flying soul).
Almost heaven, right handed city,
oily he ....aaads, big booming backends!
Right handed averages, almost 20 pins higher,
Left handed superstars lucky to hit 200!
Many lefties stuck at 196!, many righties 230 or better!
As it should be, the gods are smiling, as one knows,
he wouldn't throw lefty if you paid him.
While the lefties think, they're on a reverse block,
Those gifted righties are swinging the ball with
10 inches of area at the breakpoint, the lefties think
That the regional shot is easy!
Just give them more than a board and maybe they'll break 200.
Take you to my home house, right handed city,
You'd love it.
It's the best!!!!
While your lefty opponent has about two inches of backend,
you've got up to 18inches, God is good!
Now he's smiling as righty averages are as they should!
About 20 pins higher than they've ever been before, who could think it, these lanes are finally fair.
After all as righties we know we are much better, why those lefties with revs up in the high teens are complaining that they've got,
Less backend than three rev throwing righty,
Everyone knows they're all born as complainers!
Give me a righty who's picking up his spares,
My home house is!, Righty City, the lefties come,
To lower their averages, for the handicap tourney's
And to get no 300s, for over 4 years,
Not in practice, not in tourney's no!
Over 4 years, with over 30 300's by righies.
So the lefties, go to other places,
Threaten 300 every time they bowl,
But not in righty city, dream house mama,
Take me home, righty home!
It's a dream house fairer my son than fair,
Lefty backend is often less than an inch,
Forgot the stripper only on the left side,
Just an oversight will fix in maybe another year,
Righty city, no one's complaining just some lefties,
There's not many left.
What could be better for a righty, than to see those baby lefties,
Throwing 450 sets for three games, God that's right in heaven.
Heaven's lanes have landed here in Florida,
Flock all you righties get your honor scores,
Whether fluffer, or 80 year old man!
You might score your honor score!
Take my hand now watch those hot shot lefties,
Some from out of town, multiple 800s and 300s.
Get beat by a righty, who averages 180, see him shoot a 760 right here in right handed city!
Now the world is all right, The stars have are now alig -ned,
Too the correct world right here in righty city!
When the regional bowlers say your home house shot is tougher than the regional shot then you know you've nailed it.
Right handed manintenance man, got his dream situation!
When we get the machine fixed to give you lefties backend,
Won't be this millinium or at least for this decade.
Take me home, righty city!! God is good,
I've got them now!
Take me home righty city!!! God is good,
We've got them now!
Baby lefties, right where they should be,
down and out in righty town! Wimpier than a sneeze!
Take me home, righty city!!! God is good,
fade away!
REgards,
Luckylefty