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Author Topic: My Unoffical Coach  (Read 3823 times)

Antec

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My Unoffical Coach
« on: March 20, 2015, 11:31:48 AM »
     This may be a bit long, so thanks in advance! I bowled in a fun league about 20 years ago and it was fun. A little over a year ago I decided to try bowling and got hooked, it consumed me and now can't imagine not doing it, I love it! In the beginning it was hard, and with countless hours of combing forums such as this, and watching videos, I am about a 165 average, and I am happy with the progress I have made. During this winter season I long termed subbed on a league team where I learned a lot with some great advice. But due to schedule conflicts with work and life had to step aside. For the beginning of my bowling escapade I bowled primarily at one house, and this year started practicing at another house. I like it because they open at 8am, I work 3rd shift, I can come home get ready go there and hit the lanes, have a few beers listen to music and have a good time. The people that  own/run the place are great I have built a friendship with them.

     Here comes the problem! A couple weeks ago I was set close to this group of seniors, that I see there every week. Sitting at the table close to them we struck up a conversation which was pleasant, shortly after that the one guy was over giving me advice, which I will take all the advice I can get. But after a point it was getting on my nerves. Granted he has been bowling 30 years, and has about a 180 average, which nothing wrong with that. He basically picked apart my game and said everything I was doing was all wrong.

      I have been away from bowling for two weeks, due to other obligations, and being out of town. This morning I go to the house, put together a couple sound games, then the crew comes in. Not long after there he is standing behind my deck putting in his 2 cents. I am trying to be polite and listening to what he said, hoping after that he will leave me alone. NOT. I would go back to my normal game, but he is right there saying its all wrong. He said I have too much hook and should move right, I am right handed. I can't get rid of this guy. I came so close to telling him off, but out of respect did not do so. Even if I try to slide back into my own game he is right there saying I didn't do what he said.

     Like I said I am trying to be polite and respectful but this is about to push my limits. Has this ever happened to any of you? Should I talk to the owner? Should I tell the guy to mind his own? Any and all advice is welcome.

        Thanks

 

Aloarjr810

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Re: My Unoffical Coach
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2015, 11:48:40 AM »
Be polite, Thank him for the advice he's gave you and just tell him you want work on your game on your own for now. And if you need anymore advice you'll ask.

If he doesn't take the hint, Thank him again and tell him to step off.
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JOE FALCO

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Re: My Unoffical Coach
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2015, 12:19:39 PM »
As usual .. good advice!
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charlest

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Re: My Unoffical Coach
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2015, 12:35:48 PM »
Some people want to help so much, they don't know when to let their potential "students" alone.

Being an older helper-wannabe, I often fins myself desperate to give another person advice. I usually hold off, except for teammates for whom I offer a mild suggestion.

You can never tell someone, "they are doing it all wrong". Not ever!! Especially in a sport/game an individualistic as bowling.

Antec, you have so much patience. You're good guy. Try a few more times to do as you have and as Aloajar had suggested, but there may come a time when you need to tell this "helper"/"coach" that his help is no longer needed. You may have to be more blunt and forward. He doesn't seem to take hints. It is his problem, not yours.
"None are so blind as those who will not see."

luv2C10falll

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Re: My Unoffical Coach
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2015, 04:51:24 PM »
Sounds like a few guys where I bowl.when it comes down to it, they can only teach you they way they bowl.They have no idea on how to adapt different bowling skills to different styles

Azaelv

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Re: My Unoffical Coach
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2015, 08:04:04 PM »
Just thank him for the time and the advoce and you wanna work on what he told you, he looks like a guy of my league, his average is pretty bad but he knows everything, so be patient and polote like you have been.

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Antec

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Re: My Unoffical Coach
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2015, 10:01:10 PM »
     Thanks for the advice! It's funny luv2C10falll said it, yes in one of my "lessons" the guy even said, "This is the way I bowl". Almost as to say this is the way you HAVE TO DO IT. When I go I like to bowl 6 games. My first couple games before he showed up were right on where I usually am, I was satisfied with my performance. Then under his tutelage, I happened to look up at the score and was at something like 71 in the 7th frame of the 5th game. I got so pissed off I stopped, cleaned and bagged my gear, and got out of there.

     My mental game was shot. Instead of thinking about my marks, in my head I was thinking about grabbing my Remedy RX and giving him a shot to the eyes ;D. But like you fellas said, next week Coach and I are going to have a talk, at that point I will relieve him off his duties. Like I said he seems like a nice guy, he just cant take a hint. Thanks again!

luv2C10falll

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Re: My Unoffical Coach
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2015, 11:08:21 PM »
I think the Remedy Rx  will do the trick if the being nice approach doesn't  😨 !

BallReviews-Removed0385

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Re: My Unoffical Coach
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2015, 03:53:17 AM »
It's nice when people want to help, but there are limits.

Can you request a lane farther away?  Eat chili and refried beans two hours before you go?  Stand behind him and say "I thought you said you did it this way...", or "Okay that's a new way to miss the ten pin.  Let me make a mental note." 

Good luck.

Dave81644

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Re: My Unoffical Coach
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2015, 12:41:23 PM »
i am sometimes asked for some advice, and then i will offer it.
other times, i want to say something, but will not.
if i can see someone struggling that i know, i may ask if they want any help
even when I'm working with someone during practice, i will only suggest small changes and 1 at a time.
if they aren't interested in getting better with practice, there isn't much you can do/show them that will make any real difference

Antec

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Re: My Unoffical Coach
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2015, 02:12:54 PM »
    When I was on that team for a couple months two guys really helped me improve a lot, in the short time with them my average went up 50 pins easy. One center I went to all the time last year, and still go when times allows. I gained a great friend in the manager of the center, who is a great bowler. If something was off with my game I would go to the counter and ask questions, or ask him to come to my lane and give advice, he would and was always spot on. Last summer when I was still getting started, there was a young lady at the house, she had a very solid game, come to find out she is on a college team, I asked for advice, and she gave me what I needed to know at the time. I am all for advice and help.

       What this guy is doing is totally unsolicited, and even in my limited bowling knowledge makes no sense. He is trying to make me bowl the way he does, and as said before is becoming a pain in the ass. I have a good network of people I can call on for advice, and will do whatever they advise.

       As Notclay suggested I am going to ask for a fresh lane at the other end of the house, but if he migrates down my way we will have a unpleasant conversation.

Dave81644

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Re: My Unoffical Coach
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2015, 05:15:33 PM »
more of thanks, but no thanks
"I'm working on something right now and i will let you know if i need any help"