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Author Topic: Not wanting to beat a dead horse  (Read 2097 times)

i_like_chicken

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Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« on: March 27, 2007, 02:02:45 PM »
For my english class we are studying the art of satire. So we had to choose someone or some event that we were very passionate about. Being a bowler i chose the topic of robert mushtare and his 900's. Before i put it on, if at all, i wanted to make sure that people even wanted to read it, and were not going to get mad at me for posting another mushtare topic. So if the general consenus is not to post i will gladly send it to anyne who pm's me. Just let me know if you want it posted.

 

JOE FALCO

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2007, 10:14:42 PM »
I'd like to read it!
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rymacatthedisco

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2007, 11:34:31 PM »
i love to bash this kid...lets read it...watched him bowl, throws the ball well i cant deny it, but has for ne REAL talent on something other than that THB...ill just stop there...lets see this project!!!
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RYAN MCDANIEL...Northern Illinois University bowling

SteveOMac

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2007, 11:46:52 PM »
i wouldnt mind reading it
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BallReviews-TECH

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2007, 12:03:52 AM »
Post it if you wish but be forewarned that if the discussion becomes a repeated beating of that horse (like the last mushtare topic) it will have to be locked.

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charlest

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2007, 12:06:10 AM »
Beat it! Beat it!   Just Beat it!!!  To Death !!!!!!!
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i_like_chicken

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2007, 08:32:37 PM »
Ok since the consensus is that people want to read it I will post it. But like it was mentioned this is just for fun and I dont want it to get out of had. So here it is


Robert Mushtare: Undeniably the Best Bowler in History
Move over Walter Ray Williams Jr. and Norm Duke, there is a new threat on the bowling scene and his name is Robert Mushtare. Mushtare is the latest bowling prodigy and looks to be the next Tiger Woods. His list of bowling accomplishments is a long one indeed, with countless 300 games and 800 series. Although his claim to fame is something that has only been done 11 times in the 111year history of sanctioned bowling. He shot a perfect 900 series, which is actually only the first part of his impressive feat. Reaching this pinnacle officially three times, with three others not counting, which had unfortunately been rejected by the United States Bowling Congress. Reasons for the rejection, USBC claims, that the league in which the scores were shot was not a sanctioned league and was therefore not eligible for awards. Almost all bowlers see this as a cop out by the dictatorial USBC who wants to keep honors scores to a minimum and strives to keep the integrity of bowling alive.
      At the young age of 17, Robert Mushtare is not only the first bowler to accrue multiple 900’s but is also the youngest. His obvious prowess on the lanes is undeniable, yet some nay Sayers have come out of the woodworks to criticize this bowling phenom.  Although critics are few and far between, they do voice their opinions quite boldly and try to use such trivial devices as logic to discredit him. Most cite the fact that all of his 900’s had been bowled during a pre-bowling session, which allows bowlers who will be missing a scheduled league match to bowl prior to the date. This is a common practice among many bowlers who cannot attend the regular match for various reasons as vacations, family affairs, or for those who just don’t feel like showing up. So to use this as an argument against Mushtare is absurd. So what if they were shot at 4 am, with no one in the alley to witness his bowling. That was just a matter that was out of his control. He could not have for seen an empty establishment at that time and I’m sure that if he had known that the USBC would question his scores he would have chosen another time.
      Some of the doubters along with the previous claim also wonder what he could possibly be doing out at four in the morning. Well that answer is quite simple; his father owns the bowling alley. Some of the bowling community see this as a reason to question the legitimacy of his 900’s, that somehow his father owning the bowling alley and letting him pre-bowl at 4 am would put it his accomplishments into question. Mushtare’s father, like his son was just doing what he thought was best. Allowing him to bowl at such an early hour with no witnesses was the only option he had with such a booked schedule.
       Some of the critics out there want to put this kid under a microscope. He is human, and not perfect, at least not when people can see. Especially when there are many people to watch. This minor fact should not dilute his trustabilty anymore than his refusal to take a lie detector test. So it is very understandable that while attending JOG, the premiere junior bowling championship that he might falter slightly. Finishing 263 out of 992 is nothing to frown upon, but for the man known as “Mr. Perfect” it was let down. Averaging a dismal 180, compared to his usual 300 was very disappointing for the accredited bowler. Now some would use this to argue that he doesn’t have the skill to bowl six 900’s, but these off days are not enough evidence to suggest this accusation. Even the fact that his honor scores were shot with no witnesses isn’t enough. Or the fact that his dad owns the alley and could possibly manipulate the scoring machines. All this evidence is not anywhere near enough to discredit his amazing accomplishments and I see no reason why he wont become a top pro by 18 years old, and holding the record for most PBA titles by 20. Oh and in case you didn’t hear, while I was writing this he shot his 7th 900. Mushtare… an inspiration to us all.


Edited on 3/28/2007 8:35 PM

Buzzhead

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2007, 09:47:32 PM »
WHY WHY WHY!

LOCK IT NOW!!!! PLEASE!
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Ten pin?????? Where?? I throw a BUZZSAW there is NUTTIN left on the deck...

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SirAshley

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2007, 10:03:49 PM »
quote:
Averaging a dismal 180, compared to his usual 300 was very disappointing for the accredited bowler.


Now that is Satire!  Well done. People call it beating a dead horse, but I like the fact that people aren't forgetting this guy is a fraud and destroying the integrity of this sport... Keep kicking the dead horse, kick it till it's nothing more than a rotted corpse, but keep kicking that lying, cheating, dead, manipulative, corpse.
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I got my second 900 last week while pre-bowling. NOW, prove that I didn't do it!  

i_like_chicken

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2007, 10:07:46 PM »
Buzzhead, why is there a need to lock it. I know how some find this topic annoying which is why i asked approval to post it. Which i believe the mods said was ok as long as the post didnt turn into just that

rymacatthedisco

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #10 on: March 29, 2007, 12:30:09 AM »
i like the paper...lol, and its very fun to rip this KID apart...
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RYAN MCDANIEL...Northern Illinois University bowling

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JOE FALCO

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #11 on: March 29, 2007, 04:32:52 AM »
i_like_chicken .. I think you did a fine job of writing! You covered a lot and did not make it LONG and DRAWN OUT! Anyone reading, NOT KNOWING about bowling will understand! Your writing skills are excellent .. GOOD JOB!
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kev3inp

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #12 on: March 29, 2007, 01:23:17 PM »
I loved it!  Excellent satire!  My belly hurts from laughing.  Great job! And I couldn't have said it better myself!
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Ragnar

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #13 on: March 29, 2007, 01:26:56 PM »
Chicken liker, sounds like you read some Mark Twain or Alexander Pope maybe? Pretty good stuff.
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C300_Rye

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Re: Not wanting to beat a dead horse
« Reply #14 on: March 29, 2007, 01:32:38 PM »
I had to write a argumentative paper for English 101. I wrote about Mustares 900 series but I had to show how it could be possible and how it couldn't. I got an A on it lol. So I guess I have Mushtare to thank lol.
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