Without having your hand in front of me to fit,these are generalizations:
1)You should not have to grip the ball more than would hurt a small bird,like a canary.The ball should fit comfortably and snugly enough that you really don't have to think about WHEN to grip it!
2)The gripping edge of the finger holes should fall to a point almost exactly midway between the creases of your fingers.This,in my experience with thousands of bowlers,will not vary much from this.IF it varies at all,it should fall maybe 1/16 to 1/8 inch to the short side.This is with the thumb inserted all the way and the fingers strtched MILDLY over the holes.
3)Assuming your using inserts,none in the fingers.The bevel on the thumb is individual preference.That being said,you should use as little bevel as needed so as to not put pressure on a nerve.This edge allows you to grip the ball without sqeezing.
4)ALL bowlers should tape the thumb hole.This is the most critical part of the release.Thumbs swell and shrink much more than most people realize.If I fit you correctly today,your thumb WILL be a different size tommorrow.The only way to have a good release all of the time,is to oversize the hole slightly and add tape.This way,you can add or subtract tape to have a perfect fit all of the time.I always ask bowlers:"Do you want your ball to fit perfectly some of the time or all of the time?"Another critical issue with the thumb,is the oval.If your thumb is oval,you do not want a round hole!!
5)Drilled to the above standards,there will not be a strong contact of your hand to the ball.Oh,there will be contact,but nothing you should think about.One thing for sure,the hand does NOT lay flat on the ball as many people mistakenly think it should!Also the ball should sit on the ball of the index finger,not in the palm.
6) This depends on your flexibility and thumb length,therfore cnnot be answered on the internet!Most likely,if everything above has been done correctly,you will not have large ammounts of reverse.
7)Pitches of the fingers also depend on YOUR hand!
Hope this helps and pm me if you have any more questions.

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the pooh