Author Topic: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy) (Read 926 times)

bolt298 · « **on:** March 05, 2007, 07:01:50 PM »

Well to start off Im 26 years old and I have been bowling for the last 11 years or so and it has been my absolute passion ever since I started....but I got married recently in October to a woman who does not bowl and I just found out friday that I'm going to be a dad.....we have a 2 year old but it was hers and I have been there since he was a month old. I love him like my own but nothing can take away the emotions I have right now knowing we are going to have one that I had a part in. To make a long story short I started a job working 12 hour rotation, swing shifts and so I have to miss bowling every 3 weeks the way it is and now I have found that on the days I do have off I really don't care to go. I would rather go play basketball with co-workers or just be at home with my family and help get things ready for the upcoming event. I know it is still 7 months away but this is my first born child and I am so excited I just can't stand it. My question to those reading this is I want to know if this is a perfectly natural thing that means im starting to grow away from bowling for the time being and maybe I should put it down for a while and come back to it when my life is a little less hectic?

I just feel like it doesn't matter anymore to me how I do even though I still do well and bowl great I just don't have the passion for it anymore as I'm more focused on supporting my family and raising my one child and getting ready for my other one. Anyone with advice please chime in.....thanks for reading and sorry this was so long.
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Trey

Hey if ya gotta poop, DO IT!!!!!

Moon57 · « **Reply #1 on:** March 06, 2007, 03:19:43 AM »

Congratulations! As far as bowling goes, do what feels right. You probably know people in different leagues so put the word out that you'll sub. This way if you get called and don't want to bowl just say you have something to do, but you can still keep your hand in the game.

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Dick
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So many questions, so little time but I'm having fun.

charlest · « **Reply #2 on:** March 06, 2007, 04:04:43 AM »

bolt,

Nothing new under the sun. You've just learned there are other things in life. Bowling is still a passion of mine and it probably will remain one of you yours. But now it will be just one of yours instead of being your SINGLE passion.

While this new event has made a big impact on your emotions and while similar events in the future may make similar impacts, life goes on. Expected pleasures will soon become responsibilities and bowling may become a needed outlet for reduction of stress in the near future. Such is the (one of the) nature(s) of life.

Meanwhile enjoy the everchanging aspects of life.

"I just feel like it doesn't matter anymore to me how I do even though I still do well and bowl great I just don't have the passion for it anymore as I'm more focused on supporting my family and raising my one child and getting ready for my other one. ..."

I think you've summarized it pretty well right there. Life changes; then those changes modify your perspectives on what's most important to you, at any given time. There will be times you're glad of these new things; there'll be times when you're not so glad about them. Got to deal with them all, one way or the other.

Have fun, while the the good times roll.
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"None are so blind as those who will not see."

sheppy335 · « **Reply #3 on:** March 06, 2007, 07:38:04 AM »

Congrats! it is all a personal thing, i know i still bowled when our first child was due and even with the second. Now that my kids are 2 and 1 i do only bowl once a week in a league that my wife bowls in. I figured i can start this again when my kids are older.
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Oil is served Best with fingers!

Why does the 8 Pin laugh at me!

Sheppy

Martin710 · « **Reply #4 on:** March 06, 2007, 07:52:29 AM »

Quote

Well to start off Im 26 years old and I have been bowling for the last 11 years or so and it has been my absolute passion ever since I started....but I got married recently in October to a woman who does not bowl and I just found out friday that I'm going to be a dad.....we have a 2 year old but it was hers and I have been there since he was a month old. I love him like my own but nothing can take away the emotions I have right now knowing we are going to have one that I had a part in. To make a long story short I started a job working 12 hour rotation, swing shifts and so I have to miss bowling every 3 weeks the way it is and now I have found that on the days I do have off I really don't care to go. I would rather go play basketball with co-workers or just be at home with my family and help get things ready for the upcoming event. I know it is still 7 months away but this is my first born child and I am so excited I just can't stand it. My question to those reading this is I want to know if this is a perfectly natural thing that means im starting to grow away from bowling for the time being and maybe I should put it down for a while and come back to it when my life is a little less hectic? I just feel like it doesn't matter anymore to me how I do even though I still do well and bowl great I just don't have the passion for it anymore as I'm more focused on supporting my family and raising my one child and getting ready for my other one. Anyone with advice please chime in.....thanks for reading and sorry this was so long.
--------------------
Trey

I agree that at your age, the priority should be your family. It will always be time to return to bowling. Just an example to illustrate that point: At my center, there is a bowler who's 73 years old and who started bowling five years ago when he was 68. This guy is crazy about the game and he plays in four leagues. He outplays many of the younger fellows. His best league average is 196 on THS of course but still...pretty good. Congratulations to the new father.

Edited on 3/6/2007 8:50 AM

SKIDSNAP · « **Reply #5 on:** March 06, 2007, 08:00:35 AM »

CONGRATS!!!

IT IS ONLY BOWLING!!!!!

lIFE IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN BOWLING!!!!!

BOWLING WILL WELCOME YOU BACK WITH OPEN ARMS WHEN THE TIME COMES

Cambumbo · « **Reply #6 on:** March 06, 2007, 08:20:05 AM »

Same thing happened to me almost sixteen years ago (I was 26 as well), baby on the way and a heavy touring schedule (I was a full-time musician at the time, averaging 207.) Started bowling again last year and having a great time bowling with my son.

Bowling is always going to be there for you to enjoy at any level.

Congratulations!

Edited on 3/6/2007 9:18 AM

Edited on 3/6/2007 4:51 PM

chitown · « **Reply #7 on:** March 06, 2007, 08:26:54 AM »

Sounds to me like you already answered your question. You don't have the passion for it right now. So go take care of the family and enjoy life. Some day you may find that passion again. If that happens then pick up those bowling balls and get back into it.

Congrats on the little one coming.
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HAMMER NO MERCY is Un-freaking real! Using this ball is like cheating!

Edited on 3/6/2007 9:25 AM

Edited on 3/6/2007 9:25 AM

sdbowler · « **Reply #8 on:** March 06, 2007, 08:40:59 AM »

I had the same feelings when my wife was pregnent with our son. At first I lost interest a little. That same year nationals was in Reno and I was able to win enough money in the brackets and off the tables to pay for a lot of stuff for our son. So after that I was able to relax and have fun bowling. We are now expecting our second child in October and so far I have not had the feeling of not wanting to bowl and I think that is due to my son loving the sport and talking about it all the time.
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Brunswick

Robadat · « **Reply #9 on:** March 06, 2007, 08:46:47 AM »

quote:
My question to those reading this is I want to know if this is a perfectly natural thing that means im starting to grow away from bowling for the time being and maybe I should put it down for a while and come back to it when my life is a little less hectic? I just feel like it doesn't matter anymore to me how I do even though I still do well and bowl great I just don't have the passion for it anymore as I'm more focused on supporting my family and raising my one child and getting ready for my other one.

Congrats on the soon to be new arrival to your family. I started out with a "ready made" family when I married 25 years ago, (and my wife also is not a bowler, BTW). I have two beautiful daughters that I "inherited" when I married. A few years later, my son arrived, it was the greatest feeling I ever had in life, to be a real Dad. As far as being a Dad to your own child, REMEMBER that to your wife's son, you are his "Dad", please CONTINUE to give him all the love and attention that he deserves. He may not be your son, but you are his "Daddy".

As far as the bowling goes, I think you have answered your own question. Your priorities are changing with your new role as a husband and father, life moves on. However, I have found that bowling is a great way to get away from life's daily grinds, try to make the time to stay involved with the game, even if it is only as a sub for another team as Moon57 suggests.

Again, Congrats on the news for you and the little lady.
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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Ben Franklin

Enjoy,
Bob

JohnP · « **Reply #10 on:** March 06, 2007, 10:06:21 AM »

Your priorities have changed. My advice -- don't bowl leagues or tournaments this summer, next fall, or the summer of '08. Reevaluate in fall of '08. -- JohnP

MC · « **Reply #11 on:** March 06, 2007, 09:08:47 PM »

Congratulations! Wether to bowl or not is not going to be your hardest decision to make in the next few years. Family comes first, and you already know that. Do what is best for them. I have three kids and have gone from bowling in two leagues to one to just subbing (twins were born here) to back full time in one league. You will figure it out also. Whatever you decide do not stress about it. Have fun! It is a great ride!

MC
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Perfection is not attainable. But if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.
-Vince Lombardi

Author Topic: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy) (Read 926 times)

bolt298

Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy)

Moon57

Re: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy)

charlest

Re: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy)

sheppy335

Re: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy)

Martin710

Re: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy)

SKIDSNAP

Re: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy)

Cambumbo

Re: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy)

chitown

Re: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy)

sdbowler

Re: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy)

Robadat

Re: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy)

JohnP

Re: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy)

MC

Re: Not sure whats happening to me......please read and respond(kinda lengthy)