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Author Topic: stupid drama  (Read 3416 times)

echidapus

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stupid drama
« on: November 18, 2008, 01:34:31 AM »
I have a question that doesn't have to do with bowling directly, but involves my teammate.  

Scenerio, teammate texts me if I wanna join him for bowling Sunday morning, my gf is sitting next to me and I ask her if she would want to join, (she doesn't bowl and has a physical limitation/disability), she asked me if she could try as well.  I text back asking if he would mind if she came.  His response

"I don't care.. Bring a shovel to clean her off the approach when her leg gives out..."  

She and him have maybe said 5 words to eachother ever, but know of eachother.  I took personal offense to this and declined going bowling the next morning.  We bowl together tomorrow night and I definitely feel animosity towards him.   He and I are 2 of the top 3 bowlers in the house.  I will also see him this Friday and was thinking of pulling him aside and just talk to him then and explain how he disrespected me by making such a "wreckless joke."  In general he doesn't have tact and tries to make poor jokes, but I feel this crossed a line.

any advice on how to handle the situation.  Thanks in advance.
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9andaWiggle

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2008, 09:57:05 AM »
Your teammate is a dick.  I'd have a hard time not knocking his teeth down his throat.  Personally, I wouldn't bowl with him anymore - mainly beacause outside of the Ballreviews site, I try not to hang out with a**holes. lol  Plus, if you get on another team(s), you can take pleasure in whipping his *** on the lanes every time you face his team.

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Spider Ball Bowler

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2008, 10:06:11 AM »
That's a pretty crappy joke...
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baccala8872

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2008, 10:08:11 AM »
Like school on a Saturday...........no class!

Your friend needs a check-up from the neck up.

Moron!!!
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Hamburglar

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2008, 10:18:01 AM »
When he gets ready to bowl during warm-ups, punch him in the neck and then call the lane man to clean him off the approach...


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911chilli

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2008, 10:20:47 AM »
WOW a regular peter griffith you got for a friend there.
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Andyman3333

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2008, 10:21:04 AM »
Break his leg and then hit him with the shovel you brought.
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echidapus

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2008, 10:26:42 AM »
seriously though.   What is the best way to handle a teammate issue like this or like another one.

People are people and aren't always going to get along.  What do you do when there is a personal conflict on a team?  It's the most competitive league in the house and breaking the team up isn't an option anyone would want.  

thanks again
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Reijn

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2008, 11:41:37 AM »
What really bothers me is that you said you told him that he disrespected YOU.  You made no mention of how it disrespected her.  I hope that was an oversight.

Now as for how to address this:
You tell him that he needs to apologize directly to your girlfriend for his lack of respect for her.  If he declines, you explain to him that you will finish out the year, but he should be looking for another team next year, and if he does not, then you will.  If anyone asks why, you explain the situation, in detail.

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DanH78

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2008, 11:51:31 AM »
quote:
What really bothers me is that you said you told him that he disrespected YOU.  You made no mention of how it disrespected her.  I hope that was an oversight.

Now as for how to address this:
You tell him that he needs to apologize directly to your girlfriend for his lack of respect for her.  If he declines, you explain to him that you will finish out the year, but he should be looking for another team next year, and if he does not, then you will.  If anyone asks why, you explain the situation, in detail.



I agree for the most part.  Just to add though, make sure you have this discussion in private.  He's likely to get defensive if you do this in front of other people and you won't get the result you want.
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echidapus

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2008, 12:15:13 PM »
I have yet to speak to him about it.   I will pull him aside and do it in private.  I was planning on this friday.   It's disrespectful to my gf absolutely, unfortunately she is use to it from strangers, when a friend/teammate does it, it changes it in my opinion
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SleepOnIce

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2008, 12:21:39 PM »
If you can deal with him, after letting him know that those kind of jokes towards your girlfriend wont be accepted (however you do this is up to you), then bowl with him. If you feel animosity towards him than bowling with him is probably a bad idea. No need to unnecessarily hang around with jerks that you don't like.
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Phoneman

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2008, 12:32:35 PM »
I would not wait to talk to this guy.  If he ponies up an apology right away then it can probably settled.  If he does not even think it was a problem then it is time to lose the moron.  Some people just dont realize how much a "joke" like that can hurt.  Maybe you can help him become a better person, if not find a new friend...
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Slumpbuster

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #13 on: November 18, 2008, 01:56:04 PM »
it sounds like it was a joke, a bad joke, but a joke none the less. If you can't make fun of yourself, who can you make fun of?? Your friends, or your friend's gf
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Monster Pike

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Re: stupid drama
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2008, 02:03:52 PM »
Listen.  Go to league & not say a word to the guy.  Let him come to you.  Don't act like nothing is wrong & then wait til Friday.....  He'll think you already let it go.  You need to hash it out.  Prolonging it doesn't help your cause.
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