Is this her first scratch league?  

Do you suppose she is feeling a lot of pressure to perform?

Do you not realize that the winter is a very long season?  

Do you think you guys are going to shoot over or at your average all season?

Give her a break for gosh sakes.  Its not like she has a lot of mental experience or physical experience to fall back on. By saying that you NEED HER TO SHOOT NO LOWER THEN 150 is crap.  Bowlers of her level are more irradict and less consistent then you are.  This is the price you paid for the two of you to bowl together.  You had to bring on a lower average player to make the cap.  So don't put more pressure on her then she's probably putting on herself.  

If you are coming in at 214 and your buddy at 210 and she's 155.....that's 579.  You guys are 579 that's 30 pins light to the cap.  What the heck do you expect!!!!!  Your team is not close enough to the cap to be competative in a scratch league.  Plus you are killing her confidence and probably making this a miserable experience for her.  

You cannot expect to shoot at average or over average every week.  You cannot put that kind of pressure on yourself, your bowlers and your team.  You are doomed if you do so.  If she booked between 150 and 160 we can average that to 155.  So you expect her to be within 5 pins of her average every game???!!!  You got to be kidding me.  I want to to see you never shoot 5 pins under your average.  

So, if you are still reading this response..... what do you do to help her???
First you engage her in general conversation.  You accept the accomplishments that she does (spares and strikes, good pocket hits) with high 5s.  You invite her to practise with you.  You practise....right?  She might not be at a level where she practises at all or very much and then not effectively.  She might have a ball that is not suited to her game or needs to be spiffed up at the pro shop for optimum performance.  She could obviously benefit (as your team could) by her being coached by a certified coach.  

Did you pick a bowler that wanted to improve?  Or one that just fit in with you guys under the cap?  

Erin

Seriously, what do you expect the skill level of a 140-ish average bowler to be?  A 140-ish average is simply not on your level, and you can't expect her to be.  You have to be patient and understanding and you must also realize that you are probably within the first 15-20% of your season.  There is a long way to go and she will probably improve by leaps and bounds over the season.

Invite her to practice.  Offer her calming constructive criticism.  When she throws a good shot or converts a spare properly, give her kudos on that immediately, as the memory of the shot(s) will still be fresh.  Better bowlers are made with honey and not vinegar.
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"Enjoy every sandwich."
--a cancer-ridden Warren Zevon's reply to David Letterman's question of, "What have you learned from life?"

Well said Atochabsh, and I see where you are coming from Sawbones, but there is one slight difference here.  This is a scratch league, not a handicap league.  While this does not condone being rude or offensive to the lady carrying a 150 average, she does have to understand that in a scratch league there is more responsibility per bowler and on them performing to their ability.  With that said going forward the way I would handle it is to talk to her socially as Atochabsh said, and start offering tips to make her a better bowler.  Give her help with spares, maybe make a recommendation to slow down, things like that.

If she gets pissy or refuses your help, then that's when she needs to realize that she is in a scratch league and needs to become a better bowler.  If she refuses to learn or get help then she should consider changing to a handicap league, and not bowl a scratch league, where her current ability would be more of an asset to her team.

Just my 2 cents.

Aw,buy her a shot and a beer....Ya know, "bond" with her a little bit.She's probably just got the yips....
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Ya noooooo,beer makes ya smart,it made Bud-wiser-Harry Caray.

You may be stuck for this year but I'm in a similiar position bowling in a league with a 635 cap. However, it's Peterson Point and total pins are only worth two points of 23 total points a night. Get our league to go to peterson point. If it's a scratch league, especially with a cap that should help even things out.

When a teammate is struggling, I always go out of my way to "suggest" a "bowling get together, practice session" either a team practice session or if a player is really down in the dumps... one on one.  9 chances out of 10, after the first session, the teammate in question suggests that we get together for another.  Easy way to handle it, and both parties will in most cases bond.
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KEG LERX
"The pins adhere to the law of the "Golden Rule"."
Ball Arsenal Registry (includes drilling Specs) @ Allbowling.com



Edited on 10/13/2006 1:31 AM

Ok...it seems that everyone is under the impression that she is a new bowler.she has bowled this league for many years.  I am only 22 she has been bowling for as long as i can remember.  I know she's capable of shooting better. i've seen her.  Im not trying to talk bad about her. i am just looking for suggestions to get her comfortable because she seems a lil up tight. I know we dont bowl our weight all the time.  I never claimed to have done so myself.  It is early in the season. I realize that.I think this post went in the wrong direction with the killing her confidence comments and making it a miserable experience.  And for the record, we are competitors in the league.  Average doesnt mean much.I've bowled a scratch league carrying a 205 average with my partner averaging the same and we finished 2nd in the league.  We weren't even close to having the high team average.  We just managed to win our points.
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