More questions.  I'm on the fence about this, and I'm sure I'll get answers on both sides, but it's about self promotion/advancement/creating opportunities.  A lot of people get places in life because they don't take no for an answer, they self promote, and they're really aggressive in going after things.  That's not the way I operate, I feel like you prove yourself first, and once you do, you'll start reaping the fruits of your labor.  I'm also not a patient person.  I'm aggressive in putting in the work so I can get to my goals faster.  However, most of the work I put in is for other people to help them get to their goals, and a lot of mine have fallen by the wayside.  Working in the pro shop as long as I have has been a great professional opportunity, there are nice perks that come along with that, but the work has always come before my own bowling, which has suffered and has cost me in other ways. 

I've never pushed anybody or asked for a handout in my life.  Rick Benoit used to live here while he was working for Brunswick and I think I'm the only bowler in the city that didn't get at least one free ball from him because I wasn't that shameless.  I don't promote myself to ball or staff reps to try to get equipment, I've paid for every single piece of equipment or merchandise I've ever gotten.  I've put in a lot of work for a lot of people, that's meant missing a lot of tournaments, and the tournaments I do go to I'm not able to prepare much for.  I see a lot of people getting sent free equipment, or getting "hooked up" here or there, or getting staff contracts, and most of them rightly so because they've put a lot of work and effort into getting themselves somewhere, while a lot just promote the hell out of themselves or badger people until they give in.  At the same time, it frustrates me because I feel like if I had been able or had decided to put all that work into my own game, I could be seeing those perks myself. 

Big question, am I getting too greedy?  Yeah I get cheaper equipment and practice, but bowling balls still cost a hell of a lot if you aren't on staff with somebody.  I'm somebody who's definitely willing to work for what I get, but I want so many things that I just don't have the time to put in on.  I feel like I can accomplish anything or reach any goal, but I'm never really satisfied, and I end up bitter a lot of the time because I know if I had the time to put in on something that I could get the goal.  I love working in the shop, but I'm a competition junkie too, I love bowling, but I just don't have much time to practice or the money to put into the equipment I need to compete at the few tournaments I do get to go to.  I don't WANT to ask for handouts, but at the same time I feel like I've hurt myself because I haven't been aggressive enough.  I don't think you really get anywhere in this world anymore without using the hell out of your connections to jump your way to where you want to be. 

At the same time, I'm only 32.  I feel like I've put a hell of a lot of dues in, but when I look at the majority of other people, they've been at it a lot longer than I have.  Am I being unrealistic?  Thanks for any and all replies.