I think you are pretty much spot on in what you're saying and I think I expressed my dubious attitude toward the garden variety pro ball video. Frankly, until I see the ball video series produced by a stroker with a 185 average, I'm not particularly inclined to see a video and think that's exactly how it's going to look coming off my hand. (Note to self: begin production of ball videos. Call it 'average joe ball reviews'; resist urge to change actual name to joe)
That said, and in my admittedly limited exposure to many pro shops, I would wager that the average pro shop in my area (maybe even the one closest to my house) would sell me whatever ball I asked for; would not give a wit about my style, ball characteristics, are the house conditions 20 feet outside the proshop door. Nor would they care what my PAP is, axis of rotation, or any other metric (or offer to find out). And I believe if I said I want this ball, they would drill it up without asking me about layout; or even discussing different layout options and how they would affect ball motion.
Why do I say this? Because I know it to be true. But I'm a casual bowler. I don't belong to any leagues (yet). I don't go in with knowledge of what my numbers are, how I want a ball drilled, etc. Because I'm not 'serious', I don't get "full service" (and it seems really weird that I should have to ask for it). So in such situations, guys like me may look at ball videos or ask dumb questions in forums to try to learn. And if we are lucky, we happen upon a pro shop and an operator who treats every customer with equal attention. (I have and I will happily drive an hour each way from now on to get it)
Please don't think I'm throwing a blanket over all operators, or most, or even a large percentage. Im not....really. Most I'm sure are dedicated professionals bent on matching every player who walks through their door with the optimum equipment. But it exists. So yes, there are "moderately skilled" bowlers with unrealistic expectations because they look at pro videos of ball actions. But maybe in some cases it's because they just don't have the information to know better. And maybe, if someone asks the question, they might receive some guidance on what, if any, nuggets they could draw out of said videos.
Hey....who put that soap box there?