Hi Debs,
Heres my take on it... As a parent and teacher!!
A lot of early teenagers experience a decline in grades, most often it is a temporary thing.. Lack of interest, and a feeling of "I already have done that", and even "I already know that", both very frequent responses.. In later high schooling they have more choices in subjects, this helps interest and motivation... In regards to his new found friends, THAT would and SHOULD be one of your biggest problems.. Teach him to be strong and independent in thought/decision making and follow the right way..(assuming you and hubby have been doing this since Nic was born... repetitive and clear rules and expectations.. its the only way to go).. If this doesn't work immediately don't panic, repeat your expectations on him, reasonably ones though..If his friends are the reason behind his behaviour and grades, then suggest (and u can only suggest), that he find another group. There is nothing cool about failing at high school, (i know this as a result of having gone through it, and also the lack of interest/motivation, and in hindsight group of friends, I will never forget having to go back to school at the age of 22 feeling like man, why didn't I just get on with the job at school instead of being "cool" and hanging out smoking,drinking,etc..).
You need to surround Nic with positive people (influences)in life, it will undoubtably rub off, this includes friends at school/home, family members and sporting organizations (thats why keep him on the lanes and out of trouble).
In regards to the alcohol, don't sweat too much, if its a once off, not a big deal, an appropriate punishment, nothing too severe. Regarding bowling, let him continue... However an earlier poster mentioned that perhaps this was not Nic's first time dabbling with the Devil's juice.. You need to address this if this is true, counselling is an excellent option..
I see where I work, the results of lack lustre parenting and general poor family management, kids turning up late, poorly dressed, bad manners, bad attitude, no interest in school... Our kids are a product of ourselves.. The fact that you openly discussed this on a bowling forum suggests to me that you are a decent parent/mother.. Keep going, don't ever give in, continually reinforce positive behaviour and performances.. Finally lots of love..
Hope this might help!
Peace Looseleftie
